You're always at the top of my list

I have one list of things I'd like to say to you, and another list of things I'll say to anyone who'll listen. At the top of the second list is this: I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling lonely and second-best, and even though I know the people around me who seem to have interesting lives theoretically are the same as me, there seems to be an eternal disconnect where everyone finds connections but me. At the top of the first list is this: I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling lonely and wanting to make connections but never knowing how. I'm especially tired because the only connection I really want to make is with you.
At the bottom of the second list is this: I'm tired. I'm tired of wanting someone to talk to but of never being in the right place at the right time with the right person who will understand the right way. I'm tired because I know I will meet the right person eventually, but I have to wait and be more patient than I know how. I have to wait for the right person, the right time, and the right place. At the bottom of the first list is this: I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting for the right time, the right place, and the right person when all I really want is to tell all my secrets to you. Even though I know you won't be listening.